Holiday Series
by michoct
Summary: This is a series of one-shots. Each update will be another holiday, it starts with Valentines Day 2010. All Liz and Jason with a little push from some family to get them together ;
1. Chapter 1

"Oh no!" Audrey exclaimed as she walked around the rear of the car. The rear driver's side tire was completely flat. The snow and ice they'd gotten over the past day had completely damaged some of the side roads that Audrey frequently drove. She peeked in the back window and saw Cameron had unfastened his seat belt and was now looking out the back window at his great-grandmother. Jake was perfectly content holding his small portable DVD player in his lap. He was unfazed by the situation.

Audrey was proud to admit that over the years she had changed a few tires but it was below freezing and she certainly did not have the energy she had before. She'd have to settle for calling for a tow truck and hopefully still having time left to make it to the store.

Cameron had asked Audrey to take him shopping for his mommy's Valentine's day present. Both he and Jake had gotten ten dollars from their uncle Steven for behaving when he babysat them. Audrey found it to be incredibly sweet that the two boys wanted to spend their only money on their mother so she was more then happy to take them. But this was not in her plan. Elizabeth would be home from work at seven which gave her just over two hours and it would start getting dark soon.

Climbing back into the warm car, she rubbed her hands together to warm them before grabbing her purse off the passenger seat. She dug through her hand through her purse and quickly turned frantic, dumping the contents on the seat beside her. She didn't even need to look at the pile of the contents to know she hadn't grabbed her cell phone off the kitchen counter.

"Grams, is the car broken?" Cameron asked.

Audrey checked the gas level and saw that she had nearly a full tank. She was relieved that she'd stopped to fill her tank before the storm hit the day before. "Its not broken but the tire is flat."

"Mama's pessent." Jake called from his booster seat.

"I know Jake, dear. I'm trying to get us to the store." Audrey opened the glove compartment and pulled out a pair of gloves. She apparently had no choice then to attempt to change the tire herself "Stay in the car boys." She ordered then got back out of the car, pulling the lever beside the seat first to pop her trunk. The heat in the car remained on at full blast to keep the boys warm and she went to work pushing the junk aside so she could pull the carpet in her trunk up to get to the spare.

"Oh dear lord!" she gasped when she finally pulled the carpet back and the tire was not there. She could not remember ever having to change the tire since she'd gotten this car but perhaps a tire was never there. So as the sky began to dim on February 14th, Audrey slammed her trunk closed and swore. It was very rare that she used profanities and this certainly was one of those rare occasions that it seemed fit. Luckily the boys did not hear her.

Not a single car had passed since she pulled onto the shoulder of the road which is why when she heard the sound of a car engine getting closer she waved her hands in the air.

This was not safe in the least bit. Audrey was on a barely traveled road at dusk with her two great grandchildren with no phone and a strange SUV was slowing toward them. The windows were completely tinted, for all she knew they could be pulling over to rob her of what little she had left. If she'd thought faster she would have grabbed her bottle of pepper spray out of the glove box but she did not want to turn her back on the approaching vehicle.

The massive SUV stopped behind her car and Audrey felt her chest tighten then immediately relax when she saw a familiar face. Never in her life had she ever felt so happy to see the man approaching her. Her hand rose to her chest and she let out a deep sigh of relief, "Oh thank the lord! Mr. Morgan, I have a flat tire, no spare and no phone. Can I trouble you for a call to the auto club?"

Jason quickly shook his head, "Audrey, they could take hours to get out here, especially in this weather. How about I give you a ride home and see to it that your car is brought back there for you tomorrow."

They had definitely had their differences over the years but Audrey was his sons great-grandmother and Elizabeth's grandmother which meant he'd always do all he could to help the woman.

"Oh that is mighty kind of you Mr. Morgan but…"

"Jason."

"Jason…" she repeated back to him. "But I have Liz's boys with me and we're going shopping for her present. I can assure you that two small boys will not understand the reasons for not being able to go to the store. Car trouble is certainly not an excuse they will accept."

Jason found his heartbeat increasing ten-fold. His son, the son he'd given up, the son he thought about every day-every hour, was in the car mere feet from him. Jason sucked in a deep breath, keeping her nerves in control and spoke, "That's fine, we can stop at the store so you can pickup whatever you need."

"Don't you have plans for tonight?"

Jason curled his lower lip and shook his head, "Nothing that can't wait another hour to help out the family of an old friend." He said, unsure if 'friend' was the correct term. Perhaps 'love' would have worked better, or better yet 'biggest regret', but Jason was pretty sure that Audrey did not know everything that had happened between them so he held back. The woman also did not seem to know the truth about Jake either, at least she didn't act like she knew. "Go ahead and lock up your car. Do you have car seats or booster seats for the boys?"

"Yes, for both of them." Audrey quickly answered and rushed back to the car. She opened the back door where Cameron sat, "Ok Cam, Grams' car isn't going to drive anymore tonight so Mr. Morgan, I mean Jason is going to take us to the store then back to the house."

Cameron nodded and jumped out of the car, "Hi Jason." Cameron said with a smile surprising Jason that he remembered him.

"Hey buddy," Jason said with a genuine smile. "I haven't seen you in along time. How are you?"

Cameron shrugged, "Cold."

Jason laughed as Audrey handed him a small booster seat then turned back to the car. Cameron followed Jason back to the SUV and they got Cameron situated into the back seat.

Turning around, Jason saw Jake hesitantly walking toward him. Jason's own eyes were looking back at him only slightly smaller and much more shy. Jake stared at Jason, his eyes seeming to recognize something. "H-hi." Jason managed to cough out.

Jake leaned into Audrey's side and mumbled "hi." Audrey handed Jason the second booster seat and Jason stirred from his daze long enough to secure it in place. He turned back and Jake was standing beside him. Jake was entirely too small to climb into the back leading Jason to have to lift him into the seat. He reluctantly released Audrey's hand and Jason carefully secured him into his seat realizing that he was holding his son for the first time in a eighteen months. In an attempt to keep his emotions at bay, Jason quickly closed the door and found Audrey standing there staring at him.

Her eyes stared at him. Jason seemed extremely distraught. He seemed to be fine when he graciously offered to help but there seemed to be hesitation and sadness when he helped the boys into his truck, especially Jake. The puzzle pieces began to come together in her mind but Jason quickly turned away from her. They climbed into the front of the car and Jason started driving. "I know a mechanic back in town, I will send him over tomorrow to get your car. I'll have him change the tire and deliver it back to your house."

"Oh, that is entirely too much."

"I'm more then happy to help."

"Well be sure that he sends the bill to my house." She said.

Jason nodded, knowing already that he'd be covering the bill. "What store are we going to?" Jason asked as his eyes peeked up at the rear view mirror where he found Jake staring at him.

"The craft store." Cameron answered for Audrey.

"The craft store?" Jason asked.

"Uh huh, my mama painted a long, long time ago she said." Cameron explained. "She has this cool picture she painted hanging in her bedroom that she calls the wind, but she doesn't paint no more so we want to get her paints so she can."

Jason swallowed the grapefruit-sized lump in his throat and managed to gurgle some words from his mouth, "Well that sounds like a very nice gift."

"Yup, she's been sad lately so maybe it would help." Cameron added. "She said she was lonely but I don't understand because me and Jakey are there." The boy rambled. "But she said she was happy when she made that painting."

Before long they were pulling into the parking lot of the craft store. Jason knew that Sam was waiting at home for him with dinner but he could not bring himself to call her and he didn't care.

Jason still had the picture of Jake that Elizabeth had drawn for him. The picture is hidden in the back of a drawer but he often finds himself staring at the paper thinking about what could have been. He helped the boys out of the truck and they wandered around inside the store for twenty minutes. By the time they were finished there was an entire shopping car full of art supplies. They'd gotten everything from canvases to brushes. They got oil pants, water paints, acrylic paints and charcoals. Audrey had not been paying attention to the prices as she was sidetracked by the yarn section. Jason was more then happy to take over with helping the boys.

The cashier rung up all of the items and the total was over three hundred dollars.

"Oh, oh, no no no… boys, we can't get all of that." Audrey quickly gasped.

Without a second thought, Jason pulled out his wallet and tossed four one-hundred dollar bills on the counter. "I got it. The boys wanted this for her and if it makes her feel better then I want it for her too." Jason admitted.

Audrey briefly argued but it was pointless when Jason said he'd come back on his own and just mail it to her if she put it back. "The boys want this for her." He repeated.

Cameron rode on the side of the shopping cart and Jake held Audrey's hand. It did not go unnoticed by her that Jason kept staring at Jake, an act that Jake seemed to be mirroring. "Uh, did you need to stop anywhere else before I drop you off?"

Audrey shook her head, "You have done more then enough. I know we have not always seen eye to eye but I know you care about my granddaughter, whether the two of you are friends still or not. I know that is why you helped me and the boys… we appreciate it."

"I'm glad I could help."

The ride to Audrey's house was quiet. Audrey was deep in thought and Jason spent the ride alternating between looking at the road and looking at his son in the mirror. He didn't know how long it would be before he would see him again so he didn't want to waste a second.

All too quickly they were there and Jason was helping the boys out of the truck. He grabbed the two booster seats and Audrey took Jake's hand in her left and Cameron's hand in her right as they made their way up the icy walkway to the front door. Jason placed the seats on the bench beside the door on the porch then ran back to grab the bags from the back of the truck. "I'll see you later Cam." He said, patting the boy's curly head. "Y-you too Jake. You boys be good ok? Take care of your mommy."

"Thank you again Mr. M… Jason. It was a blessing that you found us and helped us."

Jason nodded and turned away. It was never easy to walk away, in fact it seemed to get more difficult, each step always seemed to knock the wind right out of him.

"I will tell Elizabeth you said hello." Audrey called after him. For some reason she knew that when Elizabeth learned about their guardian angel of the night, she would have an emotional reaction. For the first time Audrey finally saw the side of Jason that Elizabeth saw for all those years. For the first time Audrey saw what had been in front of her for the last two years. She and Elizabeth were going to have a very important conversation once the boys went to bed.

Jason couldn't drive fast enough from Audrey's street. Once he was on the main road, however, he found himself driving slow. He didn't know if he was driving slow because he wanted to go back to Audrey's to be with his family and wait for Elizabeth or if it was because he didn't want to go home to Sam. Perhaps it was both. His heart was still pounding as he looked into the rear-view mirror only this time there was no innocent little blue eyes staring back at him. With a sigh he pulled into the parking garage of Harborview towers. All he could do was remind himself that he was doing the right thing. The boys seemed healthy and most importantly safe. That was why they did this, it is why he walked away… to keep them safe and away from the danger.

With a heavy heart, Jason exited his car from his long detour home. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to be somewhere else. He had no other choice though. He'd chosen his life and it was not one that he ever wanted to touch Elizabeth or the boys... And He'd have to live with that.

Part 2

Elizabeth had a nightmare shift. There was a terrible pile-up on the interstate, a husband and wife were brought in and he did not make it. She had to witness Patrick entering the exam room where the woman was having her broken arm set. He solemnly sat on the stool but didn't have to say a word. The woman looked into his eyes and knew the news. He'd bled out during the emergency surgery and his heart stopped. They tried to resuscitate him for over twenty minutes before Patrick finally called it. The woman couldn't have been any older then Elizabeth was. She cried on Elizabeth's shoulder and told her about their son, how they overcame so much to be together. Luckily their son was with his grandmother as they were on their way to Niagara Falls for Valentine's weekend.

All Elizabeth could think about was her own unhappiness. She'd been unhappy for well over a year and couldn't get out of the funk. It only got worse as the days went on. She truly believed that the only happiness she had in her life was her boys.

"Hello!" She yelled, stepping over the threshold.

"In the kitchen." She heard Audrey call. When she didn't see her Grams car in the driveway she wondered if they were even there. She thought that maybe they'd gone back to her house for some reason but they apparently hadn't.

"Oh, Grams, what a day." Elizabeth groaned as she entered the kitchen. Her boys were at the table eating pizza as Audrey washed dishes. "Pizza?" Elizabeth asked, surprised. It was rare that Audrey ordered takeout.

"We got back from the store too late for me to whip up dinner so Cameron suggested I get a pizza." Audrey explained.

"The store?" Elizabeth asked in her fake happy, mom voice, drawling out the word store.

"For your present." Cameron replied with a big grin.

Elizabeth looked to Audrey who smiled and nodded. "Oh, where is your car?" Elizabeth asked as she bent down to kiss her two boys foreheads since their mouths were covered in tomato sauce.

"We had a little car trouble on the way to the store." Audrey explained.

"An accident?" Elizabeth gasped.

Audrey quickly answered, "Oh no dear, just a flat."

Cameron took one last bite of his pizza then tossed the crust on his plate. As always, he wiped his hands on his pant leg as he jumped out of his chair.

"Napkin, Cameron!" Elizabeth ordered.

Cameron picked up a napkin and wiped his already clean hands on a napkin then ran out of the room. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and shook her head. 'Boys will be boys,' she thought as she picked up a napkin and wiped Jake's face and hands.

"I'll get that, go ahead in the other room with Cam, me and Jake will be right in."

A few minutes later, Audrey joined Elizabeth and Cameron in the Livingroom. Cameron was pulling out some extremely large gift bags that Audrey just happened to have sitting around. "What is all this?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes wide.

"Pesants!" Jake squealed as he clapped his hands.

Cameron drug the large bags over to where Elizabeth was sitting on the couch. "We got you Valentines Day presents mommy." Cameron explained with a big smile.

Elizabeth started with a large card that was placed on top of one of the bags. It was handmade on construction paper with a large heart drawn on the front in crayon. The writing on the inside was definitely Cameron's but Audrey probably coached him. He was just learning his letters and she was proud to see that her son had written 'I love you'. The letters were mismatched sizes but it was the best card she'd ever gotten. All of the emotions of the day built up and tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, that's beautiful Cam." She looked over to her Grams and mouthed the words 'thank you'. "Just what I needed today."

"Oh sweetie, you aren't done yet, look at your presents." Audrey said, her eyes directing hers to the two large bags.

Elizabeth pulled the bag to her and felt a large item in it. She grabbed the tissue paper from the top and noticed there were a number of items in it, canvases to be exact. "Oh my go-" she looked up at her Grams, "You shouldn't have spent money."

"I didn't." Audrey replied matter-of-factly.

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed and Cameron nudged her arm to continue looking into the next bag. She did as her son wanted and pulled at the next piece of tissue paper. Her heart pounded when she saw what was in the bag. "Oh my gosh, there are hundreds of dollars worth… brushes, every kind of paint…"

Tears were running down Elizabeth's face when Cameron spoke, "I thought drawing made you happy mommy. You said coloring made you happy and you've been sad so I fought this would make you happy again."

Elizabeth fought the sob but it escaped her mouth anyway. She wrapped her arm around her son and hugged him tight, "I'm just so happy baby." She managed to mumble. Her other arm opened and Jake ran over so Elizabeth was holding both of her sons. It was such a thoughtful gift and she knew it truly would help her be happy, or at least content. After a few long minutes Elizabeth finally gathered herself and pulled back from her boys. "Where did you guys get all this?" she asked as she wiped at her eyes and dried her wet fingers on her jeans.

"Well that's where the story gets complicated." Audrey answered.

"The art store." Cameron answered.

Elizabeth peeked in a bag again and nodded, "Yea and I love it all so much, but sweetie this is all so much money."

"Jason paid." Cameron plainly said.

Elizabeth's heart stopped for at least ten seconds then started racing. Had her day and life lately been so crazy that she was now hallucinating. "What did you say baby?"

"I'll tell mommy the story. How about you guys go finish watching Spongebob before you have to go home."

Cameron nodded then hugged Elizabeth again before leaving the room. Jake followed him leaving Elizabeth alone with her grandmother.

"Did I hear Cam right Grams? Jason? As in Jason Morgan?" Elizabeth asked, her words slowly leaving her mouth.

Audrey slowly walked across the room and sat in the armchair across from the couch where Elizabeth was sitting. She sucked in a deep breath then began, "Like I said, I got a flat when we were going to the store to spend the little bit of money Cameron and Jake had. They wanted to get you art supplies, obviously they couldn't afford the extravagant paints you ended up with but they had their heart set on getting some for you."

Elizabeth's heart was still racing at record speeds as she waited for her Grams' to get to the point.

"I didn't have my cellular phone with me and, as luck would have it, I also had no spare. Just as I realized that we were out of luck, a truck pulled up, um sport utility thing. I was nervous being out there alone with the boys but was relieved when I saw Mr… Jason get out. He insisted on taking me home and getting my car towed but I explained that I had the boys and had an errand to run."

Suddenly the brakes slammed on and her heart stopped again. Jason had seen Jake. The tears welled up in her eyes again but she closed them to hide it from her grandmother. Her throat was so tight that she couldn't swallow. Hearing his name shouldn't bother her after all this time. It had been over a year and not once did he try to fight for her to come back to him nor did he make an attempt to see his son.

"It was strange through, something changed when he saw the boys, he almost seemed nervous, which is a trait I've never seen in him before." Audrey explained. "Regardless, he offered to take us to the store to pick up your present and even went in. He helped the boys pick out everything, even insisting on a certain type of brush that he 'thought' you would like but I guess he may have known that from years ago?" Audrey stated but meant it as a question.

Elizabeth nodded but still could not talk. She was overwhelmed with so many emotions that she both knew she shouldn't be feeling and others she didn't want to feel.

"When I saw everything they had picked out, I knew it was over the twenty dollar budget that the boys had but he insisted on paying, he said that the boys wanted it for you… and he did too, who was I to argue with a mob hit man." Audrey said, strangely without a judgmental expression. "Then he drove us all back here and dropped us off, promising to have my car delivered tomorrow. He was quite a blessing tonight."

Elizabeth nodded, "Yes." She croaked but cleared her throat then took a deep, un-calming breath. "I'm glad he could help, I'll have to call him to thank him."

Audrey leaned forward and stared at her granddaughter, her head turning on an angle as she studied her reaction. A long silence passed before she spoke, "You are in love with Mr. Morgan, Jason, aren't you? I can see it from your reaction so don't lie to an old woman."

Elizabeth's brows pulled together, completely confused by her grandmothers question. The woman had always despised Jason and the life he led. A long time must have passed because Audrey spoke again, "I'll take it that it is a 'yes' from your silence."

"Grams." Elizabeth said in a pleading and warning voice. She did not want to continue this conversation. Elizabeth stood from the couch, "I should get the boys home, it's been a long day."

Audrey watched Elizabeth shove the tissue paper back in the bag. She wasn't sure about Jason and Elizabeth until that moment, everything was suddenly clear. "Romeo and Juliet." Audrey said.

Elizabeth looked over her shoulder to Audrey with her eyes narrowed, "What?"

"It's a classic tale, I just mean it's a forbidden or unattainable love. Romeo and Juliet is just a well-known example. They were together and in the end they both died because of that love, perhaps that's why you aren't together… because you are afraid of death?"

Elizabeth groaned, "Yea, I guess." She answered, giving in although she did not like the Shakespearian analogy that her Grams' was using.

"And when you talk about Jason Morgan there is certainly clear danger… but…" Audrey paused.

"But?" Elizabeth asked, surprised there is a 'but' and Audrey was looking at a side to her relationship with Jason that she always refused to acknowledge.

"But there is one big difference between the old tragedy and what I believe to be the romance between you and Jason, or the romance you might have had."

"Just one difference?" Elizabeth sarcastically joked but her grandmother looked at her with a serious expression. "What difference?"

"Juliet never had Romeo's child." Audrey softly said, her eyes locked on Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth felt her knees weaken and it did not go unnoticed by Audrey that she grabbed the arm of the couch to remain standing.

"Don't you lie to me Elizabeth Imogene. That boy looks nothing like Lucky and everything like his real father, the father that looked at him like… like you're looking at me right now." Audrey snapped. "Know that I'm not angry but I need you to sit back down. I need you to tell me the story… the whole story."

Part 3

Elizabeth was completely honest with her grandmother. She didn't stretch any truths, she told her about the safe house, the engagement and she made it a point to tell her it was Jason mostly pushing them away for their safety even though it was clear that was not what he wanted, just what he knew was right. She hadn't accepted it until the boys were put in danger at the cabin. But she also told her Grams that Jason was now with Sam and Elizabeth had completely flipped her life inside out with Lucky and Nicolas.

"I don't think I really want to be with either of them. I want to be happy and with them both I have never been completely happy. At the same time, it has always been the same with Jason. I guess I'm just destined to be alone." Elizabeth sighed. "But that is it, that's what I have been living with the past few years."

Audrey had remained quiet while Elizabeth told the long story. They'd been interrupted by Cameron and Jake a few times and Audrey had Elizabeth pause the story so she could set the boys up with dessert then after she set the boys up in the spare bedroom with a movie. Now Elizabeth was sitting, waiting for Audrey's opinion and input on the situation.

"I've made a mess, I know… and it's nobody's fault but my own. I let my heart and my desire make my decisions for a few months and…"

"But isn't that what life is all about dear, taking chances?" Audrey asked gaining a quizzical look from Elizabeth. "Listen my dear, I'll be the first to admit that I do not agree with the career Mr. Morgan has chosen. That being said, he is a good man, I can see it in his eyes and in his actions. Life is hard, love is hard but nothing is as hard as the choices to live a life and to live a life of love. Talking about this is not going to make you happy, only a change would. So I want you to do something for me, humor an old woman. I want you to close your eyes…" Audrey said and waited for Elizabeth to do as she was told. "Ok, picture yourself happy, your boys playing in the back yard, a husband cooking burgers on the grill as you set the table on a summer night. All obstacles aside, all judgement and worries about fear or outside threats aside… who so you see at that grill? Who would you be happy with, Lucky… Jason?"

"It's not that easy." Elizabeth mumbled.

"I just want an answer Liz. Who would make you the happiest. I know that either of them would make the boys happy, although I'm sure one has more of a connection then the other. Just think about being blissfully happy and truly sharing your life with a partner that understands you as much as you understand them and that loves you as much as you love them."

A tear escaped through Elizabeth's closed eyes, "You don't understand, I can't imagine it because it can't happen. It's imagining and wanting things like that that has me in this situation… miserable and pathetic."

"So Jason?" Audrey assumed.

"It doesn't matter." Elizabeth sighed and opened her eyes, wiping the wetness from her cheek. "It won't happen."

"It won't because you don't want it or because you are afraid?"

Elizabeth gave her head a frustrated tilt, "Because it is how it has to be."

Audrey shook her head, "No, it is how it is because that is where you let it lead you." The old woman stood from her chair and walked over to the couch where Elizabeth was sitting. She sat on the edge of the cushion beside Elizabeth and took her hand. "Look at me in the eye and tell me that you don't believe that Jason could fully protect and take car of the boys if you allow him the full opportunity to."

"Grams you don't know what you are saying, that means guards and security systems and fences…"

"And all that would take care of my great grandchildren. And my granddaughter would be happy… she would be living her life. Take it from me, you don't know how long your life is going to be. I wish every day that I had spent more time with your grandfather. I wish we'd gone on more vacations and mostly I wish we would have stopped more often to just spend time together, talking or even in silence. What I'm trying to say is that life is short."

"And with Jason it could be shorter."

"But happier. Don't get me wrong, I hope you are around longer then we ever dreamed but I want you to be happy just as much. I think you can have both, you just have to allow it to happen and have faith that you can get each other through it. Jason has the means to take care of you, the money to make sure you and the boys are secure and he seems to also hold the key to your happiness, so in my eyes, my old eyes, that's where you should be. No matter what I said in the past I can see that he is a good man and would never intentionally hurt you or the boys, he has more then shown that in his selflessness over the past years."

"Grams, I've gone through all of this in my head hundreds, no thousands of times."

"Then you have given it a lot of thought and needed a second opinion." Audrey released her hand and pat Elizabeth's leg. "Take the night. Go home and think about it… I want you to really think about what you want to do. I will support you one hundred percent no matter what you decide. I trust you, I may not have always trusted you over the years but believe me when I say, I do now. I am proud of the woman you have become even if you are not proud of yourself. Let the boys stay here for the night and come back to get them in the morning"

"Oh, I can't…"

"You can… do this for yourself." Audrey said.

After taking a long detour home, past Harborview towers, Elizabeth finally arrived home and wasn't sure what to do. She threw in a load of laundry and decided to take a long bath. After lasting only about five minutes in the bathtub, Elizabeth got out when the steam from the hot water was starting to make her hyperventilate. Her heart was racing and she felt as though she was having a panic attack. She had not expected her night to turn out like this, she'd told her Grams everything after the woman finally figured out the truth about Jake.

Needing some fresh air, Elizabeth layered herself in thick sweats and slippers, made herself a large cup of hot chocolate, grabbed the thick blanket form the bed in the spare bedroom, and went to sit on her front porch. It was a cold February night but the snow had completely subsided and the brilliant moon reflected off the snow brightening the dark night sky. She sat out there long after the last sip was gone from her mug. She thought back to the beginning when it was just her and Jason in her studio, she thought about that hot summer night that Jake was made, and she even thought about the afternoon in the courthouse when he said goodbye to her with tears in his eyes. That, once again, brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes.

She felt so cliché, sitting on her front porch on Valentines day, alone and crying. There was something, however, soothing about her cry tonight. Yes, she'd cried a lot lately but tonight it was slightly different, different because there was someone else in the world that wanted her to do the exact thing her heart had wanted for years. The impossible aside, that knowledge comforted her in some strange way.

Her cheeks grew red from the tears that had stained her cheeks and chilled in the bitter, cold night air. Finally deciding that she needed sleep to end the exhausting, emotional day, she stood but was distracted from a sound in the distance. The sound of a footprint crunching in the snow drew her attention. She looked through the thick trees that lined the front of her house, "Hello?" she called in a shaky voice.

Thankful the bench was behind her, she brought herself to sit down again as the trespasser walked toward her. It was strange because deep inside her she wanted nothing more then for him to be there with her but now that he was she was afraid. She didn't want to have the conversation he came there for. The word 'danger' had been banned from her vocabulary for over a year, mainly because he'd said it so many times that it only reminded her of him.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" she coldly asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know. I guess coming to see how you are?"

Elizabeth could not help the abrupt way she found herself talking to him. It was her defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt again, "I'm fine."

Jason stood a few feet from the steps to her porch and stared at her for a long minute with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans. "I just had to make sure because Cameron said-"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter what he said, does it? If I wasn't fine what would you do?" she spat then didn't wait for an answer to continue. "Nothing, you can't do anything so spare me, ok? I can see you looking at me, pitying me, judging me like everyone else but you have no right anymore. You said we wouldn't have contact but then you show up here." She said, shaking her head.

"Just because…" he sighed, "It doesn't mean I don't care."

"Well you've seen me, I'm fine… you can go now." She growled.

Jason nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait…" she asked and waited for him to turn back around. Her face was slightly softer but still guarded. "Thank you for helping my Grams and the boys today."

Jason nodded, "J-Jake is getting big, he looks goo-"

"He looks like you." She interrupted.

"I'm sorry." He apologized and turned to walk away again but she spoke again.

"Do you have any idea what it is like to look at your son every day and see the face of a man that… that… that's not there." She said, wanting to say so much more but just couldn't.

Jason shook his head then looked down at the ground, avoiding her eyes. He really did understand her sadness though, he felt the same thing every day he thought about the family he could never have.

"Huh, I guess you wouldn't. Just go, go home to Sam, it's Valentines day, I'm sure she has quite a night planned." She spat.

Not finding her dig fair, Jason quickly countered, "You haven't exactly been sitting home alone every night though, have you?" He found himself saying, hating they had come to this point.

Elizabeth shrugged, "That's what I do right, I'm a whore that jumps in bed with any man that shows interest in me. I guess that's what people thought I did with you."

"You aren't and I know we were more then that."

She pulled her blanket tight around her, "Were… well I have to get the boys early tomorrow so I should go to bed."

"They aren't here?" Jason asked.

"Like you care, but no. My grandmother has them for the night because she thought I needed a night to decide what I'm going to do with my screwed up life. Hours later I'm still drawing a blank so thank you for stopping here and making me feel even worse." She mumbled and stood, eager to get in the house before the tears returned. "Like I said, go home to Sam."

"She's not you." He mumbled just loud enough for Elizabeth to hear, enough to make her stop her steps toward the door and turn back to Jason.

"Thank you for the painting supplies. You didn't have to buy that." She said, feeling their bipolar conversation exhausting.

Jason nodded, "You're welcome."

It was too late, the tears came out in full force and fell down her cheeks. She turned away and reached for the door handle, stopping for a second before walking in. "I do… I still love you. I'm afraid that I always will." She said, too scared to look back to him as she released a sob after saying the scary words to him after so long.

"Me too." He replied then quickly clarified, "I love you."

Jason could see her shoulders shaking from her sobs as she entered her house and closed the door behind her, not looking back at him. He waited until he heard the latch on the lock click to walk away.

A/N - Ok, before everyone hates me for the ending, this is not the end. This is going to be an ongoing series, a holiday series. St. Patty's day is only two weeks away then Easter two weeks after that, then we have cinco de mayo, mothers day and I'm sure we can find a few more holidays in there somewhere too. Audrey is good in the series and is on Elizabeth's side for a change. Valentines day was just a baby step… they will get there


	2. Chapter 2

St. Patrick's Day

Jason had been on edge for the last month. He'd snap at Sonny, Sam, Carly… whoever it was that would say something or even say nothing, it would still set him off. He felt stuck between the life he wanted and the life he couldn't change.

He had seen Elizabeth twice since the night he visited her house on Valentine's Day. The first time was just a few days after. She was walking into Kelly's and he was walking out. It became even more awkward because she had the boys with her and they both wanted to talk to Jason. The second encounter was a week ago. Jason and Sam were attending a benefit for cancer research at the Metrocourt. Carly was throwing it but since Audrey was still on the nurse's board at the hospital, she talked Elizabeth into being her 'date' for the evening. Some heads turned when they saw Audrey politely talking to Jason. She had approached him at the bar and, once again, thanked him for his generosity for the car help and his generosity in the donation he had made. It was Sam, of course, that was the most surprised. She had seen Jason talking to Audrey, unguarded and comfortable with the conversation. The sight made her uneasy, Elizabeth's grandmother should have nothing to say to her boyfriend. Sam was completely rude interrupting their conversation. Audrey had been telling him about the breakthroughs his money would help fund. After offering Audrey an apologetic nod, he allowed Sam to pull him to their table but not before he noticed Audrey making eye contact with her granddaughter.

The night air was crisp but certainly warm enough for a ride. He pulled his bike from the garage and turned right on Harborview Drive. He didn't know where he was riding to but having no destination was his favorite choice.

Elizabeth's shift was marred by green hats and young nurses and interns excited about what time they'd get to the bar to drink their green beer. If one more person asked her why she wasn't wearing green she probably would give them a black eye. Luckily her shift was over and she decided to go for a drive before heading home.

Jason was like a drug, he was all she thought about, she craved him even though she knew he was bad for her. She couldn't escape him either. He was everywhere, Kelly's, the fundraiser and she even saw him driving on the road a few days ago, she nearly rear ended the car in front of her as she watched him drive through the intersection. There had to be a way to get over him even though her grandmother had been pushing her to follow her heart, no matter where that road led. Surely Audrey knew how she felt about Jason. She even chatted him up at the fundraiser, something she never would have done in the past.

Clouded with thoughts of Jason and the boys, Elizabeth ended up exactly where her car and thoughts led her, to the overlook. She parked the car and got out. Her scrubs were thin and the air was cool so she threw on her heavy jacket and walked over to the bridge, sitting on the ledge. That's where she was sitting a short time later, tears once again in her eyes, when she heard the unmistakable rumbling approach. The sound stirred butterflies and caused her hands to tremble. When it continued growing louder and closer she could not turn around out of fear, fear it would be him and at the same time, fear it wouldn't be him. She wanted him there with her so bad and at the same time if he showed up then it would make it so much harder. Her feelings for him were so wrecked, she hated him, wanted to see him, didn't want to see him, but mostly she loved him and longed for a life with him.

The engine shut off and she could hear Jason's booted feet nearing. She let out a sigh and wiped her wet cheeks. "Are you following me?" she asked, shaking her head. Why did fate keep bringing them together when they so much needed to stay apart.

"I went for a ride and decided to stop here. I wasn't following you." He said in a low voice. "Are you ok?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" She asked, still not turning to look at him. She kept her eyes fixed on the water below her. "I needed time alone… to think, so I came here. Ironic I guess considering the history here."

Even though she couldn't see him, she knew he was nodding. "I'll leave then. But you shouldn't be out here alone… in the middle of nowhere."

"Nowhere is exactly where I want to be right now." She mumbled looking over her shoulder at him then at his bike.

He understood, "Wan… do you… want to go for a quick ride?"

Elizabeth nearly jumped off the ledge and ran toward him. That was exactly what she needed, not just to feel the wind and see the wind, but to do that with him. She didn't move though.

He waited but when she didn't move, he slowly walked back to his bike. It was when he threw his leg over and sat that she finally fully turned around and stood up. He held out his helmet, offering it to her so she knew his offer was still there but he could still see her hesitation. "Nobody is around, we're safe. Just this once we'll do this." He said, although he didn't know why. He didn't know why his bike led him to the overlook nor did he know why he stopped when he saw her car. Now he was inviting her for a ride, he was definitely playing with fire.

With slow, unsure steps, she walked over to the bike and took the helmet from his hand. Jason leaned forward so she could climb onto the bike behind him and she gently rested her hands on his side, trying not to get too close to him. Unfortunately when Jason started the bike, revved the engine and took off, her gentle hold on him grew tight and continued to tighten with each curve.

The ride was exhilarating. She started off tense but as Jason took the curves and increased his speed, she tossed her head back and just enjoyed the feeling the ride was invoking in her… and the feeling that holding Jason was invoking in her.

Her hands moved from his waist to his chest, she held him tight. The ride was nowhere near quick. Elizabeth would not know until much later when she finally got into her car to drive home that they were gone for hours taking the roads on the outskirts of town at excessive speeds. There was no talking, no worrying… no danger except for the danger the bike posed.

Having her arms wrapped around him brought him home. Riding with her behind him, holding him was what he hadn't known he was looking for that night but just what he needed to find. She squeezed tighter as they went around some of the sharp turns and screamed when they hit straight road and he increased their speed.

When they finally pulled onto the narrow path back to the overlook they both silently sighed. Jason had not wanted to end the ride but she probably had to be up early for work so he did not want to make her life any more stressful then it already was. He stopped the bike next to her car and held her arm to help guide and balance her while she climbed off the bike.

Jason watched her stretch her legs that were tight from the ride. He killed the engine but stayed on the bike until he saw her walk back over to the ledge and look back over the water. He followed her and stood behind her. Even though he knew it was completely wrong and not good for either of them, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. He rationalized it because she'd been holding him for hours from the back of the bike, it was only fair that he get a chance too.

Even though it shouldn't have, having Jason's arms around her again gave her the familiar flutter in her stomach. The same butterflies she had when she waited for him that day at the Metrocourt, the same butterflies she had when they'd meet at the safe house after her late shift and spend a few hours together before she had to leave to pick up the boys from her grandmother's house early the next morning. "You seem to have won over my grandmother." Elizabeth finally said, breaking the silence. She realized after she said it that it was the first thing she'd said to him since he had first arrived.

"I'm sorry." He sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Don't be, I guess better late then never."

Jason wasn't sure what she meant by that but he nodded anyway. "I know you don't want to hear this, Elizabeth, but I really do want you to be happy."

Her eyes immediately filled with tears at his words, "Me too." She whispered. "And I want you to be happy to."

His chin lifted and he kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent as his arms tightened around her. He didn't reply to her though. His happiness was always the last item on his list of things to do.

"Thank you for showing up. The ride helped me tonight." She lied. It hadn't helped, in fact it made her miss him more.

"I'm glad." He said, not completely believing her.

She felt his arms loosen around her but she didn't want him to leave. She wasn't ready for the moment to be over. It was completely wrong, like so many other things that night, but she turned to face him with her body still pressed against his. His arms stayed around her though, in fact they tightened again once she was facing him. They stared into each other's eyes and she brought a hand to his face. Her fingertips brushed down his cheek and his jaw then spread wide through the short spikes on the side of his head. Her other hand joined on the other side and she tilted her head up, offering her lips to him in hopes he would take the chance she was giving him… and he did.

A slow, gentle kiss sent Elizabeth's senses spiraling out of control. Her mouth opened and Jason's tongue immediately sought out hers. The slow, gentle kiss quickly became urgent as her arms fully hooked over his shoulders and she held her body up to kiss him. They ended up against the high part of the ledge that came to the middle of Elizabeth's back. Jason pressed her lower body and pinned her there freeing his hands to explore her arms, shoulders, neck, face and anywhere else he could reach. Elizabeth wanted to wrap her legs around his waist. There was nothing stopping them and Elizabeth wanted nothing more then for Jason to take her right there.

Jason nipped at her lips then left a hot path down the creamy column of her neck. She tasted like the sweetest honey. There was a single split second of clarity, just the smallest bit that was enough for Elizabeth bring her hands to his chest and gently push. Jason immediately stopped and took a step back to keep himself from ignoring her hesitation and taking her right there. "Sorry." He managed to hoarsely whisper.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Her hands wiped over her face and she shook her head, "No I am, its my fault, I started it. I just…" she started but her eyes watered and she couldn't say anymore without falling to the ground in a puddle of tears.

Jason shook his head, "You didn't and I'm not helping you by being here." His eyes locked on hers, both sad and lonely. It was a long minute before he finally walked away. Her voice couldn't find the words but her lips did form the three words she couldn't help but say whenever they were alone. Jason nodded in agreement and within a minute he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Easter Sunday

"I really don't know if we should be here." Elizabeth whispered to her grandmother as they approached the oversized mansion.

"Well Monica insisted I bring you and the boys. She said that the house needs more kids around and she finally was feeling up to having the annual egg hunt this year. Ever since she lost Emily and Alan she has been in a rut."

Elizabeth noticed a few other cars parked in the circular driveway, "Who else is going to be here?"

"Just a few doctors and nurses from the hospital with their children. I believe Robin and Patrick will be here with Emma." Audrey explained, pointing at a SUV with a Nascar sticker on the back, surely Patrick's car. "The boys will have fun."

The boys did have fun. The grounds of the Quartermaine mansion were extensive, a lot of land to hide Easter eggs. Some of the eggs had candy in them while some of the others had money… coins for the children to put in their piggy banks. Cameron ran around the property picking up the eggs, shaking them and if he heard a coin he'd open it immediately to see how much money he got, the candy would be deposited into his basket for later.

"I'm going to go inside and visit with Monica for a little while. Why don't you take the boys over to the east lawn, there is probably a lot over there since most of the kids haven't made their way over to that side of the yard yet." Audrey pointed to the side of the house that led to Lila's rose garden.

"Come on boys, lets go try over there." Elizabeth called and started walking to the side of the house. Cameron and Jake followed her, excited to find more eggs hidden. She rounded the corner of the house and immediately spotted more pink, blue, green and yellow eggs hidden throughout the yard and along the edge of the garden.

Jake squealed and Cameron took off running toward some of the eggs. Elizabeth laughed as he picked up various colored eggs and tossed them into his basket. Jake found himself a egg filled with jelly beans and sat down in the grass to eat them. Normally she was against any candy in the morning but today she was making an exception. Suddenly she get a feeling that she was being watched. She looked to her sides and saw people scattered around not paying attention to her and the boys. She turned completely around and looked toward the trees lining the property on the other side of the rose garden. He was there with his cell phone to his ear having what appeared to be an intense conversation… but that didn't stop him from watching her and the boys.

Unable to stop herself, she lifted her hand and waved to him as a flash of the night a few weeks ago appeared in her head, the ride, the kiss, and the emptiness the followed when he left. Cameron saw his mother wave to an area of the yard where no eggs were hidden so he looked curiously who was over there. When he saw that it was Jason he forgot about the egg in his hand and waved, "Jason!" he yelled.

Even though he was over a hundred feet away Elizabeth could tell he said, "I gotta go." Into his phone, closed it then slipped it into his pocket. When he started in their direction the butterflies returned to her stomach, the same butterflies that seemed to appear every time he was around… she hated them and the fact that he could still cause them to appear after all this time.

Cameron took off in his direction and once Jake saw where his big brother was running he took off following him which left Elizabeth with no other choice but to follow them as well. When they finally caught up to Jason, Jake wrapped his arms around his leg and Cameron held up his basket, "Look at all of the eggs I found Jason. I think I have almost five dollars in there."

"Five dollars?" Jason exclaimed. "That's a lot of money."

"Uh huh." Cameron proudly nodded.

Jason looked over to Elizabeth, "Hey."

She offered him a forced smile, "Hey… I didn't know you'd be here or I wouldn't have…"

Jason quickly shook his head, "It's ok, I'm glad you are here. The boys look like they are having fun."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement and looked back toward the yard unable to see everyone searching for their eggs because they'd drifted so far from the main yard. "Did we interrupt an important call? Boy's lets leave Jason alone, he has…"

"No, it wasn't anything important, just Sam."

She didn't know how to take that comment. He was with Sam now, of course that was important. "H-how come she didn't come with you?"

"She is out of town on a job. Actually she was calling to tell me that she got an offer in Washington as a consultant to the Marshall's office."

"Like a U.S. Marshall? Sam?"

Jason nodded, "A consultant though. She could never work directly for them because of her past."

"Still, that's big." Elizabeth said with a nod. Did that mean Sam was moving? Were they still together? She couldn't bring herself to ask him those questions, they were not any of her business but the curiosity was still there.

"I told her to take it. It's a good opportunity for her and she was never really happy here anyway." Jason explained, answering Elizabeth's question for her.

Elizabeth nodded but didn't say anything, instead she crossed her arms over her chest and looked back toward the house.

"Come on mommy and Jason, let's go find more eggs." Cameron called as he started walking toward the house again.

"It's ok Jason, you can go. I'll tell Cameron and Jake you had somewhere to be." She sadly whispered.

Jason stared at her for a long minute. She did not look over at him but she could feel his eyes watching her expression and the emotion behind her words. Not wanting to prolong the inevitable, she started walking. "Wait." He said, stopping her steps.

She turned around, her arms still protectively crossed over her chest. "What?"

He took a few steps in her direction and looked around to make sure nobody could see them. The smell of roses filled the air and he could tell Elizabeth had been enjoying the aroma with each breath. Looking at her he couldn't help but take in her beauty. She wore a flowing yellow sundress, her hair was down, both flowing in the soft breeze. Her soft pink lips were accented by the pink rose bush she was standing beside. Taking one last look around he saw that they were still out of sight. He stepped toward her and took her cheek in his hand. He could hear her take in a shaky breath but her eyes closed and her face leaned into his hand. "There's nowhere else I want to be." He whispered.

The butterflies turned into bats in her stomach when she felt his lips press against hers. It was the softest, most gentle kiss and it was also entirely too short. She knew it was completely wrong and so did he but it didn't stop him from kissing her. His forehead rested against hers but her eyes remained closed as she struggled to swallow with the boulder sized lump that had formed in her throat.

"Mamaaaaa" Elizabeth distantly heard, pulling her from her trance. Jake was looking for her.

Jason's hand slipped from her cheek, his thumb tracing her jaw line in the process. Her arms fell to her side as the protective wall she fought to keep up crumbled as it always did in his presence. Her eyes finally opened and found that he was still standing there, his eyes watching her, waiting for her reaction.

"I should go find the boys." She whispered with a shaky voice.

He nodded and she turned to walk away taking hesitant steps through the yard. When she finally caught up to the boys they were sitting in the grass going through the eggs in their baskets. "Oh my goodness, look at all that candy and money. Are you done looking for eggs?" She asked, plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Nope, just taking a break." Cameron shrugged and stood up.

"Then lets go find some more eggs." Elizabeth head from behind her. His voice made her breath catch. She didn't know he had followed her across the yard. Cameron and Jake hurriedly gathered the eggs back into their baskets and jumped to their feet. They looked at Jason with stars in their eyes and his expression mirrored theirs. Both boys were so excited to spend time with Jason. Elizabeth was equally excited but hesitant at the same time. Spending time with Jason was great but it was always followed with heartache and sadness when they had to say goodbye.

The boys followed Jason around letting him point out the eggs to them. Jason kept joking that he was doing all the work but Cameron joked, "You find them faster then me."

Elizabeth watched their interaction, it was so comfortable and they were so happy spending time together. It also relaxed her a bit that nobody paid any attention to the fact that 'mob enforcer' Jason Morgan was spending time with her and the boys.

For over an hour she watched them. It seemed so natural for all three of them. At the same time, she couldn't help but notice how handsome Jason looked in a pair of khaki pants. It was extremely rare that he'd wear anything but a pair of jeans and a dark, solid color t-shirt. The top two buttons of his button up shirt were unbuttoned and every time she looked at his chest the lump reappeared in her throat.

Finally an annoying bell rang out through the yard and the unmistakable voice of Alice was heard through a microphone. "Brunch is now being served."

Jason sighed, "I have to go anyway, I promised Carly and the boys that I'd…"

Elizabeth nodded and interrupted him, "It's fine. Thank you for spending time with the boys. It means a lot to them… and to me." she admitted.

Jason kneeled down and hugged both of the boys. "I'll see you later Jason." Cameron said and high-fived him before turning and running toward the house. As always, Jake followed closely behind Cameron.

Elizabeth softly chuckled, "He loves his big brother." She said as she watched the boys run around the corner and disappear toward the house for brunch. "I should go before Cameron finds the table with the muffins."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth's brows pulled together, "For what?"

"For letting me spend time with them."

Elizabeth shrugged, "You can any time you want." Her words stabbed both of their hearts. "I'm glad Monica invited you."

"Me too. I wasn't going to come but you know how persistent she can be."

She smiled, "Yea, my Grams can be the same way." They both stood there for a few moments, looking into each other's eyes, neither wanting to be the first to walk away. "Anyway, I'll see you later." She nodded and turned to walk away.

Jason watched her take a few steps then rushed up behind her and grabbed her arm to stop her. She immediately turned and wrapped her arms around him. She had hoped he'd stop her and he had. Her head buried into his chest and his chin rested on the top of her head. They stayed like that for a little while until they both knew she had to get inside the house to the boys. Her head lifted and her eyes found his. Her lips formed the words "I love you" even though her voice never came with them. After quickly scanning the area and finding nobody around, Jason took her face in his hands and kissed her. This kiss was not gentle like the first one by the rose garden. This kiss was passionate and eager. His lips parted hers and his tongue entered her mouth, finding hers to mate with. Her body pressed against his wanting more.

"Now that is a kiss."

She turned away from the window, "I shouldn't be watching that."

"But that is what we wanted, right?" Monica asked.

Audrey nodded with a satisfied smile on her face. "Let's get back to the brunch and give them their privacy."


	4. Chapter 4

Easter Monday

Elizabeth stretched in bed and squeezed her eyes closed. She knew it was early but the sun came brightly through her bedroom window. A gentle breeze pleased her nose with the sweet scent of roses. She could not stop herself from thinking about the time she had spent with Jason and the boys by the rose garden the day before. Kissing him, having his arms around her and watching him with the boys had her buzzing but the feeling was bittersweet. She knew it had been a rare opportunity that may never come again. By Easter night she was feeling sad and she was no longer buzzing from the encounter at the mansion. It took her a long time to fall asleep and now it was early and she was already awake.

Her eyes finally opened, slowly adjusting to the bright light glaring through the window. She really needed to get heavier curtains, she thought as she rolled over in the bed toward the nightstand to look at the time on her alarm clock. The time really didn't matter, the boys were with Lucky for the day and she had the off from the hospital. When she looked at the nightstand there was something blocking her view of the clock. Her eyes blinked many times as they focused on the item. Initially she believed that her mind was playing games but she reached out her hand and touched the glass vase.

She filled her lungs with the sweet scent. They were the exact roses and they had the exact scent of the roses she'd seen in the rose garden. There was no doubt in her mind that Jason had put them there while she was sleeping and she immediately was sad she had slept through him visiting her. He'd been in her room while she was sleeping, he hadn't woken her up nor…

Suddenly she was angry. Since when did Jason get to call all the shots. He decided when he'd come visit, take her for a ride, take the boys and Audrey shopping, kiss her, and now he was sneaking into her room while she was sleeping. "Son of a bitch!" She growled as she practically ripped off her tank top and shorts then jumped into the shower. The water was still cold but she didn't notice.

After showering quickly she dressed and tied her hair back in a loose bun. She glanced at the vase of roses one last time and grabbed her cell phone. There was no hesitation as she sent a text message, grabbed her purse and left the house.

Jason knew it was wrong but he did it anyway. After leaving the egg hunt all he could think about was her and the boys. No words could describe the feeling that grew inside him when he played with them nor could it be described how beautiful she looked standing among the beautiful flowers. He had opened a can of worms by sneaking into her room in the middle of the night to leave the flowers. Of course he'd ended up sitting beside her bed watching her sleep for over an hour before finally getting up and reluctantly leaving the house.

Something inside him needed to show her that he had enjoyed their time together. Maybe he also knew deep down that she'd contact him even though he hadn't thought that far ahead while he was doing it. He wasn't surprised when he had received her text message 'Safe house 15 min'.

He was surprised, however, when he arrived and saw the anger on her face. She was standing on the porch even though she still had a key to the front door. As she had in the past, she hid her car behind the garage. His ride over to the safe house was quick, he took the roads fast and found himself driving faster the closer he got. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her hair falling out of the loose bun she'd haphazardly tied and she looked unbelievably beautiful.

"You son of a bitch!" she growled as he approached the porch. "What gives you the right to show up when it is convenient for you?"

"I…" he said stopping at the bottom of the steps to the porch.

She continued, not giving him the chance to answer her question. "You help my Grams and the boys, take them shopping, come to my house to check up on me, and you don't find a problem with the danger at the Quartermaines apparently because with all the people there yesterday you were all over me and the boys. Then, if that wasn't enough, you sneak into my house while I am sleeping and what… leave flowers on my nightstand! What happened to the danger Jason? Why is it ok for you to come around but I can't contact you or call you because of the danger?" she threw her hands up in the air. "It is unfair Jason! You are screwing with my head!" she was now yelling.

"I-I didn't mean to." He mumbled like a small child being chastised by his mother.

"Is that it?" she said and sucked in a deep breath. "Well you can't have it both ways Jason."

Jason looked behind him, an unconscious move that he had become accustomed to when she was around. He was always worried about the danger and being followed, even when they were at the safe house. With his keys still in his hand he stepped onto the porch and unlocked the door then opened it and stepped off to the side, holding it open for her to enter.

She let out a grunt, "We're in the middle of nowhere Jason, you are so damn paranoid!" she complained as she stepped past him into the small cottage giving him a brief whiff of her shampoo. Once inside the house she tossed her purse on the small table behind the couch then turned and leaned against the table with her arms again crossed over her chest.

Jason locked the door behind him which gained an eye roll from her. They stood there in an almost showdown for a few minutes. His expression was flat and his arms were crossed over his chest as hers were. It was Elizabeth that broke the trance first, "What is it you want out of this Jason?"

His brows pulled together, "I'm not sure I follow, you are the one that asked me here. I should be asking you that question."

Her eyes glared at him and she let out a frustrated groan, "I forgot, you always avoid personal questions about emotions and feelings." She dropped her arms from her chest, in a sense letting her guard down, "What I am saying is, has something changed? It's been a long time Jason… you know the whole no contact it's dangerous speech that you've repeated time after time. Why now?"

Jason shrugged but took a few steps toward her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to make her more angry and he truly didn't know the answer to her questions. Maybe he had finally hit a turning point and couldn't bare to be away anymore. He wasn't sure why he'd shown up at her house that night last month or last night, they were spur of the moment decisions that he really didn't even regret. But there was the danger still and he really was acting recklessly.

"Look…" he said, pausing to gather his thoughts. "I just wanted to remind you how special you are and that even though we are apart I still love you." He said, his voice barely a whisper.

"But we aren't apart." She said, frustration in her voice but there was a hint of teasing he thought. "You are very much here. You are everywhere. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me?" she asked, angling her head.

Jason closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. His strong arms held her tight and she refused at first but eventually she gave in and wrapped her arms around him as well. "I do." He hoarsely whispered, closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of holding her again.

Being in his arms caused all of her anger to disappear. She hated that he could do that to her and she could never stay angry with him for longer then twenty minutes. Sure he seemed to react to her when they were together as well but it seemed unfair that he had such a strong effect on her. Still standing comfortably in his hold, she slipped her hands under the back of his shirt and rested them flat against his strong back muscles.

She could feel his body tense up and he pulled back slightly from their embrace. He deserved to be teased though, he needed to feel the same she did so she continued. Her fingers curled in and she brushed her fingernails across his back. Jason stepped back slightly more but kept his head down, unable to look her in the face because he knew that if he did he was done. His forehead came to rest on the top of her head as he fought the impulse to dive into the softness and satisfaction her body was sure to provide. "Don't do this." He said, his voice almost a hiss.

She continued, urged on by the struggle in his voice. Slowly she moved her hands to his tight abs and felt them tense and twitch under her fingertips. "Don't you want to feel it again?" she whispered knowing that she had him, she just wondered how much more teasing he was going to allow. His back arched more and he lifted his head to finally look down at her face. Her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth and she was blushing. Her hands slipped agonizingly low on his stomach and hooked under the waistband of his jeans. She looked up at him, "Unless you don't want to because if you don't then I will just…" she trailed off.

Jason didn't move. He stood in front of her, his lips slightly parted and his eyes fixed on hers. His arms were still hooked loosely around her waist. "It's only going to make it harder." He said with a sigh.

"That's ok though." She said with a double meaning behind her words. It was a dirty thought and she hoped he was having the same and it would push him over the line. She could feel his hands grasping tighter at her skin and, though it took all her strength, she pulled away from his hold and stepped away from him. "Fine, I get it Jason, you don't want me anymore." She said walking across the room. She stopped and turned to face him, "But can you stop teasing me and sending mixed signals then. No flowers or kisses, ok?" she calmly asked, watching as he stood staring at her, confused. "What?"

He watched her for a minute and immediately saw the teasing in her eyes. She was deliberately trying to drive him crazy… and she was having a lot of success. His mouth was dry, his blood was rushing to one location in his body, he wanted her so bad. Taking a deep breath, he took a step toward her and she retreated by taking a step away from him but was stopped by the wall behind her. "Ok, I want you, I do so bad. I love you and the boys." He said followed by a sigh then continued. "But this always leads to one or both of us getting hurt. I don't know if you know what you are asking for." She answered him with a nod of her head. He continued taking slow steps toward her, "I don't want you to hurt anymore." He painfully admitted.

"You only hurt me when we are apart." She said as he came to stop inches in front of her.

His hands reached out and lifted her wrists to his lips, kissing the underside of each before releasing them to her sides again then he trailed his fingertips up her arms, over her shoulders and gently rested them on her neck. The pad of his thumb traced her bottom lip and jaw as he paused for a long minute giving her enough time to pull away if she decided but they both knew she wouldn't. Her eyes focused on his lips and anticipated his next move.

When he finally closed the distance, he pressed his body completely against hers, pinning her to the wall. Her arms hooked over his shoulders and their lips met, instantly fusing together. She wanted to climb inside of him, she could not get close enough. Her legs lifted off the ground and wrapped around his waist. Their tongues mated until the need for air separated them so they could gasp for a quick breath before diving back in for another taste. His arms wrapped under her rear and he began to quickly walk them into the bedroom.

Just inside the bedroom door, he lowered her to her feet. Her body was on fire and she was more then relieved when his hands immediately went to the bottom hem of her shirt. Her hands followed, helped him lift it over her head and he tossed it on the floor. He made quick work of her bra and it joined the shirt in the growing pile on the floor. Wasting no time he trailed his lips down the column of her throat to her chest. Her back arched and she offered her breasts to his eager mouth. His mouth closed over a peak and he was immediately rewarded with a moan. Standing became difficult for her as his lips and teeth pulled, sucked and nipped on the peak then moved to it's twin.

Jason felt her legs grow shaky and backed them to the bed, supported her back with his arm and lowered them to the soft mattress. He kissed the valley between her breasts, peppered kisses along her stomach then left a fiery path back up her body so his lips could find hers again.

Elizabeth's hands smoothed across his abs under his shirt then slowly moved up to his chest pulling the thin cotton material with them. His lips left hers just long enough to practically rip the shirt off. Her hands instantly reached for the button of his jeans and the movement cause him to stop. In a flash he was standing beside the bed looking down at her body, her chest rising and falling with her quick breathing. Her entire body was flushed and her eyes were dark. "Jason please don't stop." She practically begged, afraid he would stop and leave her again.

His eyes met hers and stayed connected as he toed off his boots and his fingers unbuttoned his jeans. The denim pooled at his feet and he stepped out of them before climbing back onto the bed as she removed her own jeans quickly and laid down the middle of the bed. He scooted across the bed until he was laying beside her on his side. His fingertips traced lines across her stomach before heading south. "I told you I wanted you Elizabeth." He hoarsely whispered as his hand slipped under the band of her panties. "I love you." He whispered, kissing her shoulder, neck and lips as his index finger traced her slick folds. Her thighs opened giving his exploring fingers better access to her center.

"I love you too." She murmured against his lips before a huge lump formed in her throat when he entered her with first one then two fingers. She could not take the teasing and taking things slow, not after so long. With one hand behind his head, holding his mouth to hers she reached for the band of his boxer briefs. She slipped her hand under the band as he had hers and took him in her hand. His kisses turned rough as she began stroking him, his own hand picking up the pace as he stroked her. They swallowed each others moans until it was Elizabeth who pulled away first. She leaned forward and pushed his briefs to his thighs then took a moment to admire the perfection of his body as he removed them the rest of the way for her.

Jason pushed her shoulder back onto the bed and moved so he was kneeling between her thighs. Instead of moving or helping her maneuver out of her panties, he gripped the waistband and pulled, ripping the thin material from her body. She wanted to laugh but the sound of the material giving way only increased the fire inside her. Her arms reached for him and he answered her by taking her hands in his. He adjusted himself so he was laying on top of her, his throbbing shaft coming into contact with her center and they both knew the time for teasing was over. Planting her hands in his on either side of her head, his hips abruptly snapped forward pushing as deep as her body would allow. She threw her head back and moaned his name. Her legs wrapped high and tight around his waist, his lips once again covered hers and he began moving. He did not take his time, instead his rhythm was fast and she raised her hips, meeting him with each thrust. When he could sense they were both close, Jason broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers and they watched the rush peak in each others eyes as they fell over the edge together.

Jason collapsed on top of her but managed to hold some of his weight on his knees on either side of her. He finally released her hands and she tightly wrapped her arms around him, not wanting to let him go. They stayed like that for longer they either of them knew. It was Jason who moved first, "Don't go." She plead and he just shook his head. He was just moving off of her and once he was on his side facing her he pulled her into him. Her leg hooked over his thigh and her arm wrapped around his waist as they lay facing each other.

Neither of them knew what came next for them and they both knew it wouldn't be easy to leave the house that day. They just wanted to enjoy the moment because it could be a long time before it happened again… and that was if it ever happened again.


	5. Chapter 5

Things were different this time, she could feel it. It had been 32 days, which meant that 32 nights in a row he'd been there. Previously finding time together was impossible, usually because Jason couldn't get away from work. This time he didn't seem to care, he'd show every night at her house regardless of what was going on. She'd fallen asleep in his arms for an entire month straight, the thought alone made her lips curve up in a smile. Sure, he'd be gone when she woke but she knew he stayed as long as he could.

She had no idea, no idea in the world how they could make this work. If it was ever going to work though, this time had to be it. As much as she didn't want to dwell on the 'what if', she couldn't help it. What if they can actually make it this time, what if they get so close then something happened again that sends one of them running scared? Even though she found herself thinking about it constantly, she hadn't discussed it with Jason. Every time it seemed like the conversation was leading to talk about their future she would change the subject or pretend to be sleepy. She just wasn't prepared to be let down again and wanted to make things last as long as she could.

Elizabeth climbed into bed and settled under the blanket. It was another beautiful May evening so her bedroom window was open and her sheer curtains swayed with the breeze. She knew he'd be there eventually, he wouldn't let her down, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

**Mother's Day**

Elizabeth jerked awake. It was still dark out but by the time the clock displayed, it wouldn't be dark for much longer. Rolling over she noticed the bed beside her was empty causing her to sit straight up in the bed. Although the room was dark she could see him sitting in the arm chair across the room. He had been watching her but had not woke her.

"Jason, why didn't you wake me up?" she asked, instantly awake and alert thanks to his presence.

"I thought you might need some sleep. I like to watch you sleep… you make little noises." he said in a low voice.

Elizabeth swung her feet over the edge of the bed, "No I don't."

"Mmm, but you do, little sighs and soft moans, they are actually kind of sexy." He said, watching her walk across the room to where he still sat in the chair. It was dark but he could still see that she was wearing a skimpy, tight tank top and boy shorts. "You're sexy."

She arrived at the chair he was sitting in and kneeled, placing a knee on either side of his hips then sat down, straddling his lap. "I missed you."

His hands immediately moved to her thighs and his thumbs gently brushed against the smooth skin in small circles. "I missed you too."

Her hands circled his wrists then trailed up his arms, stopping to momentarily caress his sexy biceps. She brought her hands to his neck and leaned in, gently brushing her lips against his.

"You know…" he said when she separated her lips from his, just a fraction. "This isn't the reason I come here."

Elizabeth's body backed away so she was sitting straight up but his grip on her thighs held her in place.

He spoke quickly, "I mean, it's not the only reason. I just… I don't want you to think this is only about that."

She shallowly nodded her head but looked down, "I know."

Jason brought one of his hands from her thigh and cupped her cheek. "I want it all too. I need, I need some time to figure it out." He explained, knowing her thoughts without her voicing them.

Her voice was low, "Please don't make any promises."

It wasn't until that moment that Jason realized how scared she was and that this was likely their last chance to make this work. Neither one of them would be able to survive losing each other again. Not sure what else he should say, Jason brought his other hand to cup her other cheek and pulled her face closer to his. Just before his lips covered hers he whispered, "I love you."

Instead of replying, Elizabeth kissed him fiercely, pouring her words and feelings into their kiss. Jason stood from the chair with her in his arms and her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked them over to the bed. They took their time cherishing each other until after dawn when Elizabeth finally dozed off to sleep.

He watched her sleep again as thoughts ran through his mind, wondering how this could work. He wasn't sure how they could do it but he was going to do all he could. Eventually he climbed out of the bed and dressed then crept from her room. After peeking in on Jake sleeping in his bed, he stopped at Cameron's room and found the boy still in bed but awake.

"Jason?" Cameron asked.

"Hey buddy." Jason whispered as he entered the bedroom quietly.

"Why are you here?"

Jason thought about that for a minute then knelt down in front of Cameron's bed, "I came here to help you make breakfast for your mom for Mother's Day."

Cameron smiled, "Okay."

Jason smiled back. Luckily Cameron was still too young to question the situation. "How about you quietly go in and brush your teeth then get dressed and meet me downstairs in the kitchen."

Cameron sat up and stretched his arms out in front of him. His pajamas were covered in little motorcycles and Jason couldn't help but wonder if Cameron had picked them out or if Elizabeth had. He tussled the boys curly hair them made his way down to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Jason had located a package of bacon and began cooking it as he searched the cabinets for some pancake mix. In his search he found a container of coffee, not the fresh-ground gourmet he was used to at the coffee house but it would do.

"How did you get here?" Cameron asked from the doorway, surprising Jason with the question.

"I drove here, how do you think?" Jason joked, avoiding the question. "But you tell everyone that you did this all by yourself just for your mommy ok?"

Cameron nodded, "A surprise."

Jason nodded, "Yes, a surprise." He finally found a box of pancake mix and began to follow the directions. Once the batter was ready Jason pulled a chair to the front of the stove and motioned for Cameron to come stand on it. "Be careful, don't burn yourself." Jason warned him as Cameron initially struggled with his balance in front of the hot burner.

He handed Cameron a ladle, "Scoop up as much as you can get in here and then pour it in the pan." Jason instructed using his hand to steady Cameron's arm as he messily poured the batter into the pan. It wasn't the most beautiful pancake ever but it would taste the same no matter how it looked. Elizabeth would appreciate it even more to know Cameron helped.

"How do you know how to make pantakes?"

Jason couldn't help but smile when Cameron said pantakes instead of pancakes. "I used to make them for my mommy." Jason lied. Well it wasn't necessarily a lie, he'd probably made them for Monica or at least helped the cook at the mansion make them, he just didn't remember. Truth was that he had only made pancakes one or two other times, but he'd seen it done dozens. They were about halfway done the pancakes when Jake shuffled into the kitchen, his hand in a fist as it rubbed his sleepy eye.

The little boy's eyes narrowed, obviously confused at what was happening in front of him. Cameron had the hang of the pancakes so Jason walked over to Jake. He lowered down so he was squatting in front of Jake. "Do you want to come watch?" Jason asked.

Cameron called over his shoulder, "We're making pantakes for mommy's day."

Jake nodded his head unsurely and Jason scooped his son into his arms. Holding his son was the most unbelievable feeling. Jake quickly relaxed and even brought his arm around Jason's shoulder as they watched Cameron make a mess with the pancake batter.

This was what he wanted. The whole idea of making breakfast with the boys was surreal and it was something he'd love to do all the time with them. He wished he didn't have to leave.

Once the pancakes were done, they set the table and Cameron looked confused, "We need another plate."

Jason shook his head, "No, I can't stay… besides this is our little secret, we want your mom to think you did this all by yourself just for her."

Jake, who was oblivious to the conversation going on, looked at the food on the table then up at Jason, "Hungwwwy."

Jason smiled, "Ok you guys go wake up your mom. I'm going to clean up a little then leave but I'll see you guys soon ok?"

Cameron nodded and gave Jason a high five. Jake followed but hugged Jason's leg instead, making his heart sink in his chest. "See ya." Cameron called as he and Jake went running from the kitchen toward the steps. After taking a long moment to recover, Jason quickly cleaned up the stove and the dishes in record time. He took one last look around, placed one last thing on the table and left.

"Mommy, wake up!" Elizabeth heard along with feeling a little hand on her face. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she saw her two boys standing next to the bed. She certainly was glad she remembered to put her clothes back on before falling asleep. One morning last week, Jason had been gone and Cameron had come into her room. She was completely naked under the blanket and she was completely grateful he did not try to climb into bed with her as he did some mornings. It took her a few minutes but he finally left her room to get dressed giving her enough time to find a pair of sweats to throw on.

"It's mother's day." Cameron told her. "Come on."

"Hungwy." Jake added.

Elizabeth slowly rolled out of the bed and Cameron took her hand, dragging her toward the steps, "We have a surprise."

She could smell it and as they got closer to the kitchen, she hoped Jason was in there, but he wasn't and when she saw only three plates on the table she knew he was gone. She smiled, "Oh my goodness, how did you make all this?"

Cameron smiled, "It's a secret." He said with a sly smile on his face.

"Oh." Elizabeth drawled. She wished she had been down there, watching Cameron and Jason. She wondered if Jason let Cameron do everything, or if he helped. Was Jake down there, did he watch, did he interact with Jason?

"Look." Cameron said, lifting a box from the table, a curious expression on his face.

Taking the box from him, she looked at the tag "Love, Cameron and Jake". Jason had done this, "What did you boys get me?"

Cameron honestly shrugged and Jake had already climbed into his booster seat to begin eating. Elizabeth untied the bow and unwrapped the small box then flipped open the lid. "Oh my goodness, it is so beautiful."

Cameron, obviously looking at the necklace for the first time, pointed at it, "Look it's two little hands."

Elizabeth pulled the thin, white gold chain out of the box and examined it closely. Two small hands hung, each with a small diamond and below the diamond was the name "Jacob" and the name "Cameron" written in small script. "I am the luckiest mom in the world." she said, already anxious to thank Jason but it would have to wait till tonight.


End file.
